FiO at the Fringe

Keen not to rest on our laurels, we’ve been thinking recently about how to take Figure it Out to the next stage. As I wandered through the centre of Edinburgh last Saturday among the crowds of Festival-goers and street performers, it suddenly struck me: the Fringe! This year’s Fringe promises more than 2,000 different shows, with 20,000 performers and 35,000 performances. With over a year’s worth of FiO material to draw on, surely we could create a show which would have the crowds flocking in. First of all we need a snappy title which will stand out and attract attention. In May we saw how a name at the start of the alphabet was worth several percentage points to a politician. A hint of something risqué is always helpful at the Fringe, so let’s go for the number one spot in the programme with “Aaargh – Shapely Figures!” We want to maximise our Box-Office takings, so our expertise in Customer Segmentation and Yield Management will come in handy – starting with some low-priced offers aimed at our target audience, and dynamically varying the price to ensure a sell-out every time.

And we’ll be able to track our popularity ratings by monitoring any positive or negative Twitter tweets.

So what’s going to be in the show? Revues are always popular, so how about … Stand-up Comedy: A statistician walks into an x-bar and asks for a Kolmogorov-Smirnov and a cup of Students-tea … Music: Who can forget our harmonic vuvuzelas, or our Christmas Number One hit “Baby love it’s time you’re little again”? Fantasy and Magic: Remember how our advice would have resulted in victories in the World Cup, the Ashes, and the Winter Olympics? All we need now is a venue – which in Edinburgh can range from a telephone box to an upside-down inflatable purple cow! See you in the High Street … break a leg!

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